How did we end up here?

Maybe you are looking for couples therapy because you’ve become disconnected from your partner and you no longer feel listened to or valued. Maybe you discovered or engaged in a betrayal or an affair, or your partner blindsided you with an announcement that he or she wants out. Maybe you have a longstanding argument about what is important to you both and continually find yourself swept up in a deadlock, a contemptuous battle of wills. Or maybe you feel like the person you’re married to now is not someone you recognize - one of you has changed and you fear you married the wrong person.

Yet despite all the difficulties you’re facing and how lost you feel, what you really want is to find the love you once trusted and hoped would carry you through all the hardships is still there. That it’s resilient and able to sustain your relationship no matter what has come between you since you last felt deeply connected. The best thing to do when you realize you’re lost is to find a map. I can help you map your relationship and guide you on the way to building (or rebuilding) the deep, intimate connection with your partner that you long for. 

Therapy Can Help You…

Rebuild Trust

Therapy can teach you how to repair your relationship and rebuild trust. It can also help you deal with the shame, anger, and resentment that often accompany betrayal. Coming to therapy is brave - it means you are willing to face difficult issues to improve or save your relationship.

Reconnect with Your Partner

Couples become disconnected for all kinds of reasons. Life is demanding and time feels non-existent when spread among jobs, kids, family activities, and everything else. Other couples become separated by patterns of avoidance, negativity, contempt, and resentment. Whatever has made you feel isolated and lonely in your marriage, I can help you work through the issues to build a warm, loving connection.

Learn to Manage Conflict in Healthier, Less Hurtful Ways

Many people grew up in homes where they weren’t taught how to handle emotions in healthy ways, or experienced things that have made it difficult for them to regulate their emotions during conflict. Conflict doesn’t have to be hostile or push you further apart. I can give you tools that will help you disagree constructively and understand each other better.

Establish a Deeper, More Intimate Connection

When a couple can build trust around sharing their inner thoughts, feelings, and needs, intimacy can grow and thrive in their relationship. A more satisfying relationship and better sex naturally follows.

Negotiate Boundaries with Extended Family

Couples often deal with expectations from their parents and in-laws about many things. They may struggle to decide at whose house to spend holidays. They may disagree about how much sensitive information to share about things like finances and arguments. Eventually, many couples struggle with boundaries related to children.

Later, couples often have difficulty setting boundaries with their adult children - how much freedom to give high schoolers and how much support to give young adults and grandkids. Therapy can help you navigate all these conflicts and develop a shared vision and a united front to decrease conflict and stress.

Navigate Difficult Transitions

Whether you are getting married, moving, having a child, dealing with illness, struggling with the changing demands of raising kids, transitioning to an empty nest, or retiring, transitions often create stress in marriage. I can help you emerge from these times stronger by helping you improve your communication and problem-solving skills.

Build a Shared Vision for the Future

Every person has had a unique set of challenges and possesses a unique set of strengths that they bring to a relationship. We all have triggers and deeply held beliefs that we want to be honored, and it can be very complex to meet both people’s needs. I can teach you how to create a shared vision for the future that will allow both of you space to have your needs met.

I’m passionate about helping people gain relationship and conflict management skills that allow them to have deeper, more satisfying romantic partnerships. If you’re ready to take the next step to repair and deepen your connection, reach out to set up a free consultation today.